I think I’m better when I’m away. What an odd thought that I’m a better friend and son, perhaps a better person when I’m just not around to help, hurt, entertain, bore or whatever else. My distance relationships do far better than my near ones. Perhaps I’ve put a romantic flair on friends I haven’t seen in a while; a nostalgia of sorts. Is this how hermits are formed? Ever wonder how that guy who always seemed so friendly decided to live in the forest, or mountains or whatever by himself? The traditional hermit: a guy no one really knows but he’s spoken of in hushed tones. A true badass of sorts. Badasses aren’t necessarily cool they are just fulfilling an ideal. The badass sushi chef only eats sushi and if he were ever forced to eat a sandwich that guy would roll it up and slice it into bits before he shoved it into his starving face.
So, what if it were the case that I’m just a better person when no one is able to observe my day to day? Would I be considered a cool guy? Would people view me as good, or care to have any sort of opinion at all? Does it even matter? Probably not. I guess the main issue would be thinking about why people, when they are absent, are thought of in a positive light. Maybe it’s just the human disposition to have the stronger emotion to cultivate and surface as it squeezes the weaker feelings out. This would only happen if there were no new input being added from experience I would assume. Let’s just do an experiment right now. Think of a person, you could choose me if you’d like, or if you don’t know me choose a person with whom you’ve had a history. Someone who you have had, on the scale of buffalo wings, mild, medium, or hot emotions, you’ve gotta’ have had either medium or hot with this person. Now, what do you think of this person? What does your emotional gauge register? Note it. Now think back to the situation when you parted. I bet your emotional scale will be different. And I’d even say that the way you feel now is better than you left things.
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘time heals all’? or if you are really good you might have come across “Absence diminishes minor passions and inflames great ones, as the wind douses a candle and fans a fire”. Pondering this, if these famous ideas are true, would it be so much easier to swoop down, make a good impression and then leave only to keep in touch from a distance and visit ever so often? Imagine further still, if this is the case with how to be charming and well liked. Then what on earth is marriage attempting to do to a relationship?
So, whatever happened to Sean Connery? Great actor for sure. But last I heard he was still old and beating women.
You’ve unintentionally summed-up a large portion of my life. Although I often hear and say ” I miss/love you,” from/to friends, it is definitely romanticised because of distance. How are you fareing these days?
Hey Lexi, I’m doing pretty OK these days. I’m in a transitional period right now. I’m planning on moving to Prague or some place in Hungary early next summer. How are things on your end?